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Child Custody Attorney: Advice for Your Post-Divorce Relationship

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

blog-logoA child custody attorney doesn’t always get involved in a couple’s disputes or try to nurture the couple’s relationship for “the sake of the kids,” but in reality they probably should.  If there is one thing that can quickly derail a parenting plan it is an ongoing battle between parents.  It seems that no matter how much parents are told that this is unwise; they still continue to “punish” the other parent by limiting their access to the children or making last minute changes. 

Perhaps at one time you believed that once you got that divorce decree, everything would get easier.  He or she would be out of your life, out of your business and you could move onto a happier future.  However, if you have children together, you and your ex-spouse will continue to deal with one another for many years to come. 

A child custody attorney should advise his or her clients to keep open lines of communication with their ex-spouse and never start communicating through the kids.  No matter how much they may dislike each other, divorced couples with children still need to put their own needs aside and make their kids the top priority.  Even when a couple is cool to each other or avoids speaking altogether, a child can sense the tension between them.  Kids are already going through enough upheaval just watching their parents’ divorce; they will still need to know that both parents are united when it comes to the children.

Another reason it’s so important to stay on good terms with your ex is this: you never know when you might need them to step in and lend you a hand.  If you are the mother and primary caretaker of the children and then end up hospitalized for a few weeks, you’ll want to know that you can rely on their father to help.  When one of the kids comes home with a bad grade or a black eye, it will be nice to know that the two of you can present a united front of support to make things better.    

While there is no magic formula for maintaining a healthy post-divorce relationship with your ex, a child custody attorney may be able to steer you away from contentious arguments during the divorce.  Choosing mediation over court hearings and working together on a parenting plan will be a great place to start. 

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